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Exactly, and some of it just seems so forced, like with Luke freaking out and dumping Lorelai or after their promises of honesty, deciding to hide a kid from her. With Dean, they did escalate his character but he did have a temper in s1 itself and the way he freaked out about her not saying "I love you back" really put me off of him then itself. In terms of them not having anything in common, it was highlighted in the forms of him being bored at the bookstore (but to his credit, willing to wait), not always understanding her determination to be all about Harvard, and the whole Donna Reed stuff showed they wanted different things. It was fine for a high school relationship though. But what you mentioned really does emphasize how wrong they were. I wish Rory didn't end up taking up all the blame and the show/Lorelai & Rory/etc put a halo on Dean even in AYITL.