Oh, I can see where you're coming from; it got me reflecting a lot, too, and since participating in the fansphere can be very diverse, it's hard to properly express oneself in regards to its relevance... food for thought. No problem in not being able to communicate your feels, though, you can just feel it and leave it at that. What's important is to take the time to think it over, from time to time!

I've also learned many things thanks to fandom. It's an incredible space for creative people.